Player Profile - Rob Kane

It is a long way from the dusty streets of Bombay to the polished floors of the Gorbals Sports Centre, Glasgow.

But such is the journey made by Rob Kane, the self-styled "Souness" of the TBL.

Born to impoverished hippies whose Magic Bus To Morocco took a wrong turn in 1971, Kane has fought his way from the bottom to quite near the middle. On that journey, he has fought polio, syphilis and the dreadful whims of mud-caked dervishes.

Few could muster the resolve that is the trademark of big Rob. Legend has it that at the age of eleven, in an illegal back-street Bombay fight, he defeated a bear. By the age of seventeen, it is said, he had killed four beggars, two snake charmers, another couple of bears and a bearded fool who claimed to be ex-CIA.

Settling in Glasgow in the 1990's, Kane sought to reinvent himself as a footballer, such aspiration cruelly halted after a seemingly innocuous challenge during a junior football game which led to numerous visits by a Swiss specialist and ultimately brought no comfort to Kane, nor to his left knee, which has famously been described in journals as "utterly fucking gubbed."

After years in the wilderness, the rebirth of the one now known as "Angry Wrists" began in earnest. A chance encounter with a drug-addicted yogi on Argyle Street led Kane to JJB Sports, where, they say, the sight of a table tennis bat caused him to prostrate himself on the nylon carpet and garble the names of ancient Gods. This blog understands that his litany on that day included the names of John Greig, Jock Wallace, Sandy Jardine, Ian Ferguson, Andy Gorman and Nacho Novo.

Kane himself seems content to let rumour and conjecture colour his image. What is of no doubt is that he, of all the TBL players, can truly be considered a sleeping giant.

A ferocious forehand and a bastard of a backhand mark Rob Kane as the dangerous mystery of the TBL. A player whose demeanor suggests he has something to prove and who will not rest until that which is to be proven is finally proved.

It remains the case that Rob Kane's notorious volatility arouses approbation. Not least among the beaks and the purists. Aside, that is, from the German purists, the hardcore Beard of Berlin, whose devotion to "der uber flicke" holds Kane in high regard.

Still, though, every TBL player feels a frisson of doubt when the eyebrows of Kane meet in the middle.