Current Places
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| Quick Wrist 191 |
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| Maple Grief 111 |
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| Angry Wrists 88 |
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| The Spin Doctor 85 |
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| Thunder & Lightning 71 |
Match Report
Maple Grief Hemphill was the story of the day, nailing 15 points in Round One and 15 points in Round Two. This steady - and occasionally inspired - performance cemented his position in second place in The Table Blades League and, though Quick Wrist Little once again dominated the meet, it was Hemphill, a recovering drug addict, who dominated the discussion among the purists.
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| Purists discuss Maple Grief |
Angry Wrists Kane started the meet brightly, harvesting 18 points in Round One (including a "monkey off the back" 12-10 victory over Quick Wrist Little, which featured an alarming celebration in which Kane jigged in a lumpy fashion while brushing an imaginary monkey from his left shoulder). However, Kane faded in Round Two where he took a mere 5 points across the board. And, in the final match of their series, endured The Thrashing Of The Day (0-11) at the hands of Hemphill.
The early start time of today's meet (10am) found little favour from Chris "Thunder & Lightning" Forbes. Citing fatigue after a marathon sex session the previous night with a female member of the Scottish stand-up community, Forbes took only 1 point from all of his games in Round One. A much improved haul of 12 points in Round Two may have been a combination of complacency in the minds of his opponents and relief on the part of Forbes after said female texted him mid-meet to say she was "okay" with some of the things he had done the previous night.
Bruce "The Spin Doctor" Morton saw his dreams of a Europa League place crumble, suffering early reverses against Little, Hemphill and preferred doubles partner Rob Kane (together, The Bluenose Blades). Morton's victory over Hemphill in their final match provided some little solace to the Doctor in an otherwise disappointing morning.
As for Quick Wrist Little. A 46 point haul speaks for itself. Rumours persist of extra-curricular practice matches at an un-named club somewhere in Glasgow. Certainly, the self-styled sensei showed super style today, unfazed by being pushed to the wire early-doors by The Spin Doctor and taking on the chin the now famous "Monkey Match" against Kane.
Series Of The Day arguably goes to Little and Hemphill. The Canadian pushed the champ very close in all four games, in a thrilling series which finished in Quick Wrist's favour 11-8, 11-9, 11-9 and 11-8.
Next Table Blades meet is Monday 25th March 11am-1pm.
The penultimate in this initial Table Blades League of five meets.
Have a good week - till next week!
Losing my first match to Kane had mixed emotions for me. Being a winner means I never want to lose but even the most hardened cynic couldn't have helped be moved by the joyous scenes from Kane when he won the match. I do believe I seen tears in many if the travelling crowd. Apart from that it was business as usual and as far as Maple Grief is concerned it must be worrying that although he pushed me at times he still never took a game. Forbes is stil looking like relegation material unless he quickly adapts to the higher quality of players. As for the Doctor all I can say is keep taking the pills
ReplyDeleteGary's gratuitous sarcsam at the end of his remarks sully an otherwise dignified response. Nevertheless, fair play to the ex-convict on a steady display of cool TT skills today.
ReplyDeleteI have to pick the good doctor up there on the character assanation of myself. After writing for 20 minutes I felt I had nothing left and if it came across as sarcasm then I will apologise
ReplyDeleteApology accepted. Respect, as ever, offered and due.
ReplyDeleteCelibacy is the key. I'm aff it until our next encounter
ReplyDelete